I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
