If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
