addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
