The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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