did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm drive I can fine osifer
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
