I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
