I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
