ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
