it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
How external is "for external use only"?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
