is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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