i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
