dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
