oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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