I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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