You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
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