Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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