The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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