As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
why is half of my head shaved?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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