I wanna passion pit in your ass
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
