He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
