My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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