I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
