is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
