Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
