I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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