so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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