I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
