i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
