I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
