I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
