I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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