just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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