Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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