my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
