Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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