YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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