good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
