To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I need water and some morals
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
