I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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