he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You made out with two different species that night
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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