saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
this hospital has no fireball
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
