I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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