..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
