just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
