u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
