am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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