he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
