i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
