I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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