1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
