Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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