you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
