Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
wanna go halves on a baby?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Who died my cat blue again?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
