They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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